Loneliness

Introduction

The fairy tale of the Frog Prince carries an interesting teaching for us as Christians. In the fairy tale, a witch (Satan) turns a prince into a frog (a sin cursed man) and only the kiss of the princess (evangelist) can turn him back into a prince. The message for us is that in every person there is a hidden prince, however ugly he may appear at present. This prince is the image of God hidden in him. It is our role as the children of God to release this image of God in others by leading them to Christ and helping them to grow to maturity in Christ.

Some time we are the ones who are the frogs who need to be delivered. This feeling of frog-hood comes as one author puts it:-

“The Frog feeling comes when – you want to be bright, but feel dull. You want to share, but are selfish. You want to be thankful, but feel resentment. You want to be big, but are small. You want to care, but are indifferent. Yes, at one time or another each of us has found himself on a lily pad floating down the great river of life, frightened and disgusted, but too froggish to budge.”

This feeling of inadequacy results in our inability to accept ourselves as we are. Because we cannot accept ourselves, we look for acceptance from others. When we do not get this we feel rejected and lonely. This loneliness has become a major problem people are facing today.

The roots of Loneliness

Loneliness is not being alone, but not having relationships. So we can be in a crowded room and yet be lonely. We can be alone and yet not be lonely. We can be married and yet be lonely.

How do we reach this kind of a state in our lives? A lot of this comes from our childhood experiences. The pressures of life make us feel inadequate.

It has been proven that children when they are small have an instinctive desire to be cuddled by their mothers. Today with the pressure of financial needs often both parents are working and the children feel rejected and inadequate.

Similarly the pressure of competition in school makes it difficult to find acceptance here also. Parents are pressurizing children to do better and the children come away with the feeling that they are inadequate. We have had cases of children who have done very well obtaining a rank of 2^nd or 3^rd but have committed suicide because they did not come first. This happens because they feel unaccepted by their parents when they do not come first.

Also when I see my class mates as competitors in the race to come first, it becomes difficult to have a proper relationship with them. We do not see them as friends but as enemies.

Further, all cannot come first, but only those who win are recognized, while those who do not are ignored. It is even worse when we fail – there is no consolation for failures. We lose confidence and we fail even more and we become even lonelier as we do not get the recognition we are desperately seeking.

Children can be cruel, and ridiculing and making fun can be a sport. This destroys those who are exposed to this kind of torment. But what is worse when even your parents laugh and poke fun at your inadequacies. This shatters our confidence completely and we do not know where we can turn to for support. In India, where I come from, parents compare children unfavorably with others, especially on the color of their skin, in their presence, leading the children to have a strong sense of rejection amongst them. Similar things happen in other cultures also.

But the greatest reason for feeling inadequate is the presence of sin in our lives. As Paul says in Romans Chapter 7, we keep doing the things we do not want to do and do not do the things we want to do. This leads to a realization that within us is an evil we detest. This confirms to us that we are just evil and need deliverance. We ask with Paul, who can deliver us from this body of sin.

The troubles this leads to.

When we are lonely and unable to have proper relationship with others, as we are looking for approval and not a relationship, it leads to a lot of problems in our lives. We tend to immerse ourselves in activity as we cannot be alone and face the realities of our lives. This activity can be work, can be play and for believer it can be ministry – anything to help keep my mind of the realities of the demons within me. Sometimes these diversions can be destructive like alcohol and drugs or less destructive like music or more destructive like violent music.

Even greater problems come when we get drawn into improper relationships. As we look for approval, we fall for any person who appears to accept us leading to extra-marital or pre-marital relationships. We are afraid to deny the person the advantage he/she is taking of me as I do not want to lose the relationship. In the same we are drawn to cults like the Children of God and other extreme groups. Some gay behavior also have their roots here.

It is only when I have learnt to accept myself that I can begin to live with myself. Then I can lead a normal life where I do not have to run from myself into work and other activities or get into destructive relationships.

The Solution

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto our souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

When I come to Jesus He accepts me and I can sense His presence with me. Jesus accepts us as we are. When I know that God has accepted me I do not need to have acceptance from man. I am freed from the desperate search for approval. I can then have a normal and quality relationship with people.

What the passage says is important for us to come to Christ. Jesus says that we have to take His yoke upon ourselves. This essentially means that we can no longer do what we want, but have to walk in the path that Jesus has laid out for us. This is what baptism is all about, when we die in Christ in baptism and now live with the yoke of Christ on us doing only what Christ is asking us to do.

Walking with Jesus we learn from Him and grow in knowledge and understanding. One of the things we learn is that we have been created by God exactly like He wants us to be and so I do not have to try and be someone else. As one speaker put it “God has made you a first class original, do not become a second rate copy.” I can be proud of being an original of God not looking for approval from man but seeking to fulfill the purposes of God in my life. This understanding of the purpose of God in my life makes my life meaningful and helps us to understand our importance in the economy of God.

However, we cannot experience these blessings if we do not forgive ourselves out past failures and sins. It is only when I put my past behind me and I accept myself as I am can I experience the great deliverance God wants to give me from my feelings of inferiority.

The promise of Jesus proves to be so real, that His yoke is easy and light. Life becomes a joyous freedom.

The challenge

John 17:18 says “Even as the Father has sent me, I am sending you into the world.” We are the representatives of Jesus in the world. Just as Jesus reaches out and heals people from their inferiorities we also need to reach out to people. Are you willing to accept people when you do not like their behavior? My wife accepted me even though I was drinking and smoking and that helped me understand the acceptance of Christ in my life. Jesus accepted the woman caught in adultery (improper relationships) and so I believe healed her. Do you accept people?

Our calling is to reach out to people and bring healing to them. Our calling is to bring out the beauty of Jesus in people. Can we continue to encourage and build each other up in the kingdom? Our calling is to kiss the frogs around us. May God be with you as you do so.

Which is the Ten Commandments?

The first occurrence of the phrase Ten Commandments or Ten Words is in Exodus 34:28. In this passage the covenant of Exodus 24:1-8 is renewed after the incident of the Golden Calves. If we read Exodus 34 it is fairly clear that the Ten Commandments here refer to the ritual laws given in this chapter and not to the Laws in Exodus 20 which are generally seen as THE Ten Commandments.

The phrase is agan seen in Deut. 4:13 and 10:4 where they appear to refer to the traditional Ten Commandments as we know it.

So, it would appear that there were other codes of ten commands apart from the moral code of Exodus 20 and Deut. 5, but as per Jewish tradition, these passages were seen as THE Ten Commandments.

But if we see Exodus 20:1-17 carefully we find 10 "Thou shalt not" statements and 2 "thou shall" statements. The 2 Thou shall is not worded like that but says - observe the swabbath, and honout your father and mother. So how do we group them to get 10 commands?

Usually 17a and 17b are combined to give you one command and vs 4 and 5 are combined to give you one command.

But if we read vs 3, 4 and 5 as three separate commands they read very differently from our normal understanding.

vs 3 - no other gods.
vs 4 - no images - i.e. no art of any kind
vs 5 - no bowing down to "them"

If we combine 4 and 5 it means no making images that you bow down to.

If we combine verses 3,4 and 5 it means no making of other gods and bowing down to them - which is the interpretation of the Roman Catholic and Orthodox traditions.

Personally I find the traditional combination of the Protestant church the most satisfying, and this I believe is the Jewish tradition.

Ex 12:1-13:16 How was the Penteteuch composed?

Most critical commentators do not accept the Mosaic authorship of the first five books of the Bible and this passage in Exodus 12:1-13:6 is one of the passages which is seen as having been compiled by putting together different sources at a later date.

If we read the narrative, we find that 12:1-20 reads like a prescription of how to observe the Passover in the future. Then from verse 21-42 the tone changes and it becomes active voice narrating how the first passover took place and does not contain some of the prescriptions given earlier. From verse 43-50 there are some sundry regulations on the observance of the Passover in the future. From 13:1-16 the Feast of Unleavened Bread is described as the festival to celebrate their departure from Egypt.

If Moses wrote the narrative, it is asked, why there is a lack of consistency and coherence in the narrative.

My thesis is that, while the text was composed by Moses, it was done ar different times. We need to remember that Moses was with the Israelites for forty years in the jourbey from Egypt. The core of the narrative would be from his travel diary recording the events as they happened Ex 12:20-42. At the time when he assembled the Penteteuch, near the end of his life, he would have written Ex 12:1-20 on how to observe the Passover and there would have been some practices develioped over the 38 odd years.

Exodus 12:43-50 may have been additions by Moses to the observance of the Passover to deal with questions that arose during the time in the wilderness on who could observe the Passover.

Exodus 13:1-16 is less clear. The recognition that the first-born belong to God seems to have gained in importance and is shown to be an integral part of the remembrance of the Exodus in the Feast of Unleavened Bread. This was probably written during the wilderness wanderings to emphasize this teaching. It is probably inserted here, rather than Exodus 12:1-20 so as not to spoil that comprehensive detailing of the Passover. So instead is added at the end of the narrative.

Instead of seeing different sources used by a later author, I prefer to think that it was written by Moses but at different times.

What role can a woman have in the church?

This is another question raised by Peter Wiig and the context is the well know verse in I Corinthians 14:34-35. Many churches based on these verses have denied any leadership role in the church for women. They cannot teach men, only children. They cannot preach or even pray but be silent.

In I Corinthians 11:5 it says "But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven." This shows that women did pray and prophesy in the church, and the covering of their head showed they were married.

Prophesying as defined by Paul in I Corinthians 14:3 "But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort." This is more preaching and forth saying than foretelling and therefore it means that women did preach in the early church.

Mind you that all these references are from I Corinthians, the same epistle which has the controversial passage that silences women!! So what does I Cor 14:34f mean?

This passage needs to be understood in the cotext in which it is written. Chapter 14 is dealing with the confusion in the church caused by the speaking in tongues of people. Paul is maintaining that God is a God of order and does not like disorder. So our worship needs to be orderly. In this context Paul says that women need to keep quiet. We really do not know what was happening with the women in Corinth that made Paul make this suggestion that they be quiet and discuss with their husbands at home instead of arguing in the church. This was more in this context and I take it as not being an universal principle since if it is, it contradicts the rest of the epistle.

We see Priscilla's ministry described in Acts of the apostles and I would say that there were a few women who ministered in the leadership of the church.

I Cor 11:14 “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?”

Peter Wiig asked the question "Why is it shameful for a man to have long hair?" There are two verses that deal with this issue in I Corinthians.

I Cor 11:7 “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.”

I Cor 11:14 “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?”

Paul gives two arguments – one theological in vs 7 and one from nature in vs 14. But what does “cover his head” mean? Hair? Apparently not, since Paul did not advocate shaving ones hair off but rather not having long hair.

Theological

“Cover his head” means to “show a symbol of authority over him on earth” through having his hair uncut. The woman on the other hand is to show a symbol of authority over her since she comes under man’s authority. Hence in vs 6 he says if she is not showing the symbol of authority on her, then she should show that she is a widow by shaving her head.

I Cor 11:6 "For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered."
Since man is the theological head of the house he must nor wear a symbol of submission to anyone apart from God.

Nature

Peacocks have fancy tails, peahens don’t. Paul says that by nature women keep long hair and men don’t. It is therefore a shame for a man to have long hair since he is making himself a woman. In today’s term it would read it is shameful for a man to wear a skirt.

To a large extent this is cultural and depends on the culture of the people. Nature here is the culture of the people.

Today’s application

Christians do not have a message apart from Christ. Hence in all things cultural we conform except where the values of Christ are being trampled on. The idea is to avoid needless confrontation since the gospel is enough of a confrontation as it is. Man does not submit to women and so do not carry any symbol of submission on him.

How do I know whether I have the Spirit dwelling in me?

The question of the sign of the Spirit in our lives has been a vexed question in the church. What is the teaching of Scripture on the same? The fact that different churches give different interpretations means that there is no easy answer. I have attempted to give an answer which I think does most justice to the scripture and avoid doctrinal stands.

THE SPIRIT IS POURED OUT ON ALL BELIEVERS

This pouring out of the Spirit in the prophecy of Joel 2:28-29 is unconditional, but is understood to have the condition of faith and belief in Jesus. That means a believer does not have to “merit” the Spirit but it is given to him unconditionally, just as salvation is given to him unconditionally. For this reason, we need to understand the “obedience” in Acts 5:32 to be the obedience of “baptism” or surrender of one’s life. Especially see Romans 8:9 below which makes the possession of the Spirit and salvation synonymous.

John 7:38-39 “He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)

John 14:17-18 “Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it sees him not, neither knows him: but ye know him; for he dwells with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”

Romans 8:9 “But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.”

Galatians 3:2-3 “This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?”

I Corinthians 12:13 “For by one Spirit are we all baptised into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”

Before I go into the question of tongues, let me see some of the signs of the Spirit including the basic one of witnessing to Jesus.

WITNESSING AS A SIGN OF THE SPIRIT

The Old Testament reference Peter used to explain the Pentecost experience is from Joel 2:28-29. I am giving the full passage till verse 32 below:

“And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth, blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the LORD come.  And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the LORD shall be delivered: for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as the LORD hath said, and in the remnant whom the LORD shall call.”

You can see that the prophecy is on the end times, but apparently a start to the end times or a partial fulfilment occurred at Pentecost. In this outpouring of the Spirit the people will prophesy. At least that is what Peter understood in Acts 2:16-18,

“But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel; And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy:”

Jesus in Acts 1:8 says that you would become my witnesses after the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. So the prophesying is linked to the witness to Jesus. So we need to understand prophecy the way Paul interprets it in I Corinthians 14:3,

“But he that prophesies speaks unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort.”

Because of this link with prophecy we see that the most important function of the Holy Spirit is to teach us and help us understand what we are to be speaking to the people.

John 14:26 “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”

John 15:26-27 “But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceeds from the Father, he shall testify of me: And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.”

John 16:13 “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will show you things to come.”

I John 2:27 “But the anointing which ye have received of him abides in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teaches you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.”

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT AS A SIGN OF THE PRESENCE OF THE SPIRIT

Paul emphasises the fruit of the Spirit as the sign of having the Spirit in all his epistles.

Romans 8:13-14 “For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.”

Galatians 5:16-17 “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

If you see the judgement passage of Matthew 25:31-46 you will find that those who were given entry into heaven were those who had the fruit of the Spirit and showed love in their lives. The basis of judgement was the fruit of the Spirit.

Also John 13:35 says, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” This means our testimony is the presence of love amongst us or the fruit of the Spirit which spring from love.

From the above passages it will be seen that the primary purpose of the outpouring of the Spirit is to enable to be witnesses to Jesus by our words and our lives and this forms an essential part of our lives and shows the presence of the Spirit with us.

GIFTS AS A SIGN OF THE SPIRIT

Paul in his epistles emphasises the fact that we all have gifts and responsibilities in the church.

I Corinthians 12:7-11 “But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these work that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.”

Some have seen the number of gifts as limited to what is given in the epistles, but I doubt that. Even the ability to make the Tabernacle and the furniture for it in the Old Testament was a gift from God according to Exodus 31:1-5. So the gifts of the Spirit are given to enable us to serve the people we are responsible for, especially in the church. All are gifted, (we need to see our natural abilities as gifts from God) given for the purpose of service.

Because of the gift of tongues that was seen with the outpouring of the Spirit in Acts of the Apostles many have seen this as an essential sign of the pouring out of the Spirit. This creates some problems which are listed below:-

1. The outpouring of the Spirit was an unconditional promise to all believers. But the gifts are not unconditional and depend on our calling. See especially I Corinthians 12:28-30 below,

“And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues. Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles? Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret?”

2. Speaking in tongues is not mentioned as a sign in all occasions of the pouring out of the Spirit – see Acts 4:8, 31, 8:17, 9:17-20

3. People who had already received the Spirit appear to have been filled repeatedly.

4. For some people who received salvation and took baptism there is no mention of them receiving the gift of tongues – the jailor of Philippi in Acts 16:33.

ARE GIFTS IMPORTANT

Obviously they are, otherwise the Bible would not spend so much time and teaching on them. Also, since every believer was meant to be a witness for Jesus all had to have gifts for witnessing, and also for ministering in the church.

The problems arose, even in the early church, when your level of spirituality was linked to the gifts you have. This flew against the very basic principles of Christianity which Jesus espoused in Matthew 18:1-4. The very concept of who is greater is an anathema. We just faithfully follow Jesus and let Him gift us and use us and we do not worry about who is greater and who is lesser.

On the other hand Matthew 7:21-23 makes it clear that the possession of gifts does not ensure your salvation.

“Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

Jacob the visionary or Jacob the schemer?

Many commentators and writers present Jacob in a very negative light. To quote the TAFTEE Genesis Course it says in Week 8 Day 2 Frame 4 “Jacob knows very little about the LORD”. As another commentator says on Genesis 28 “Jacob, the bargainer, stoops so low that he bargains with the Almighty.”
 
I have another perspective of Jacob’s spiritual growth which goes as follows:-

Jacob was 15 when Abraham died. (Gen 21:5, 25:7 & 25:26) Abraham, knowing that the promise was through Isaac, would have spent as much time as he could with the grandchildren and would have shared with them the promise of God to him.

There was a prophecy given to Rebekah that Jacob would take precedence over Esau (Gen 25:23). If Abraham had believed in the prophecy, he would have paid special attention to Jacob.

So the first spiritual experience of Jacob would have been the testimony of Abraham and the promise given to Abraham.

Esau did not want the birthright as it carried two responsibilities neither of which interested him. The first was the responsibility of looking after the parents for which he was given a double portion. His wives could not get along with Rebekah and so this was something he did not look forward to (Gen 26:35). The second was the fulfilment of the promise given to Abraham. To Esau these stories of Abraham did not appear real. Abraham was an old man, 160 years older than them, and did not seem to be relevant to the world. 45 years had passed since his death and no fresh revelation from God was there. So he sold his birthright to Jacob.

Jacob believed in the words of Abraham and desired the birthright. Because of his faith he found favour in the sight of God. He saw the 45 years passing without a word from God, but held on to the vision.

Jacob was forced by Rebekah to carry out the plot to steal the blessing. This created problems for everyone, but we need to recognise that Jacob was an unwilling accomplice in this episode. Because of this error he has to flee to Syria.

Jacob is not adventurous like Esau (Gen 25:27). For him the journey to Syria would have been a fearful and uncertain experience. On the first night out, at Bethel Yahweh appears to him and repeats to him the promise given to Abraham and he is told that Yahweh would bring him back to Palestine. To Jacob this is something new and his response is probably not the best, but is essentially, if all you say is true, you will be my God and I will build you an altar.

Jacob reaches Syria and is his usual manipulative self trying to best Laban in his business deals. He however does recognise that the wealth that he has obtained is God’s blessing (Gen 31:5-9). He is too young in his experience of Yahweh to be able to accept Laban switching Leah for Rachel and bring a lot of woe into his life by insisting on marrying Rachel also. But he sees God is with him and when God tells him to go home he does.

On the way home he begins to face his fear of Esau and panics, making all kind of arrangements to protect himself and especially Rachel. At this time, when he is at a breaking point, at Peniel he has an experience of God which enables him to commit his situation into the hand of God and this becomes the turning point in his life.

 Bethel and Peniel were key events in Jacob’s spiritual journey, but there was last step required. He had permitted Rachel to worship her gods which she had brought with her, stolen from Laban. At Shechem his sons commit a crime of wantonly killing a tribe and Jacob is horrified. He realises that his spirituality is not of any use if his family does not carry on the blessing of Abraham and so he calls for them to clear out all the idols from amongst them.

 Jacob’s own evaluation of his life is found in Gen 47:9 where there is none of his arrogance or confidence in self but trust in Yahweh.

 What lessons do we learn from Jacob for ourselves? Learn to trust in Yahweh rather in self if you do not want to be brought to a point of breakdown in your life. Keep the faith in the vision even though we go through spiritually barren times in our life.